Thursday, July 3, 2014

Moshe Hogeg is under my skin

This fucker not only got under my skin, he's in my nose, stinking the place up. This rich asshole gave a guy a million dollars for the Yo app. That's all the app does. It says "Yo." It took the guy an afternoon to code the thing. There are similar message apps for free, like the Hodor app, so it's not like Yo is an original idea. Amount of money it's earned: $0. Amount of money it's expected to earn: $0. Technically it's "seed money," but it's still a million bucks and the kid gets to do anything he wants with it.

How would I utilize a million dollars? Well, I sure as fuck wouldn't give it to an ex-teenager for an app others have created as a gag for free.

First, in order that I could continue writing, and thus contributing in a small way to the intellectual life of humanity, I'd put half aside to live off of for the rest of my life.

What about the other half? I'd start two businesses. There'd be enough money to keep them running for a year. I don't know what they'd be, I'd want them to be self-sustaining, so probably a bakery, a coffeehouse, or maybe a restaurant. Thought I'd say a bookstore? Bookstores new and used are near saturation in Albuquerque right now. Maybe a computer repair shop. I don't know, I would figure it out. Even after the two businesses are up and running, employing upwards of ten to twenty people, there would still be money left over.

I'd send ten poor kids to votech or community college...or five kids to a four-year university. For free. No strings attached...well...maybe one. They'd have to go into the sciences or a technology field. If I went the votech route, they could choose to be anything - baker, accountant, car mechanic, anything useful. But for an undergraduate degree, something useful or utilitarian or in the sciences.

I'm not against some fun. Those big-budget movies, they employ thousands - if you include the theaters, and why wouldn't you? - most of them have a return on investment, and they are a creative endeavor in furtherance of the intellectual life of humanity...however small that contribution might be. Amusement parks, the same. Videogames, the same. By all means, make movies, write novels, employ people, enrich us.

Let's tally it up. My plan: two businesses started, eventually employing upwards of twenty people, five or ten kids on their way to a good sustainable life, and a writer who can continue to write.

But what did little Moshe get for his million? An app that says "Yo." An app that employs zero people, earns zero money, zero utility, entertains no one, and has zero sustainability.

That's what I'd do with a million dollars, Moshe, you clueless rich fuck. Kinda outshines your idea...and I'm not even that smart. You and your money are wasted space. Move to Singapore and stop stinking up the USA. We don't need you.